Carrier Pidgeons

Please leave a message after the tone
*beep*

Um... Babe? Not sure if I can call you that... *deep breath* Hey!
... Got a lot on my mind lately... What's going on? You good? .. *mutters* this is stupid..
I'm going straight to the point then..See the thing is... We fucked up, yeah.. WE. Not you, not me, WE. I figure we owe it to ourselves to set things straight....*sigh*  Don't get me wrong, I don't want things to go back to the way they were.. But I just... I'm not even sure what I'm saying right now... *silence* ....... But the way I see things, we need to talk, face to face... Fuck all these awkward texts and calls...  No mind games, no bullshit... Just honesty.... It's cool if you don't wanna talk though..um... Don't mean to be rude but.... See... I don't need you in my life..... But I want you there  ... So if you're cool ... Hit me up, let's see what we can do.. And if you're not... Cool still.. It is what it is.. So yeah... Safe.


*Call Ended*

You know what I've done but not what I've been through... Feel free to judge me anyways :)

I used to be afraid of getting judged!
But people are gonna judge anyways.. it's human nature.
'I don't really give a fuck.. and my excuse is that i'm young' - Drake
need i say more?
This is a poem i wrote last february... a couple of days to valentine's day and inspired by real events. I sometimes re-read this and smile.

Is It Just Me??

You’re with her

I’m with him

Is it just me?

Or do we keep staring at each other?

Did I just smile at you?

Did you just wink at me?

Or is it just me again?

I felt a jolt

When we shook

You kissed my hand

My Legs went weak

That was definitely just me!!

I Love your eyes

You love my lips

And all that flirting

It certainly wasn’t just me.

And that Kiss

My God

That Kiss

For sure, that was both of us!!

But I still have him

You still have her

And we have each other

In the Shadows

For Now…..

And Someday…..

Maybe someday…..

Nah... That’s just me again!!

Freedom?

I'm freeeeeeeee!!!!! lol

or atleast i have a semblance of freedom that i haven't felt in over a year.

For far too long i've let my happiness reside in the hands of other people.. letting them pull and push me, bending over backwards and hurting myself all this while for what?? i honestly don't know the answer to the question, looking back, i feel like going back in time and kicking some sense into myself. What the actual fuck was i thinking? Whatever..... those are things of the past now. Ever since i realized how stupid i'd been, my life has gotten a whole lot better, i had a whole lot bottled in me that i recently let out. 

      I woke up and decided to approach everyone that was causing me some sort of stress and let out my issues with him/her. What took me so long? I'm not even going to lie, it felt so GOOD! I said what i had to say, watched them squirm and lie, calmly combatted their lies and got to the bottom of everything, resolved the stuff that needed resolving, aired the dirty laundry and removed a lot of idiots in my life. 

I feel so empowered! i feel like going on t.v. and announcing just how happy i am!

Maybe now i'm not so distracted, i can give myself another shot at writing.. hopefully it's still in me somewhere. My expectations for the next couple of months are super high!!

Heres to a not so bummer summer.... filled with fun, laughter and lowkey love ;)

(oh... and i got my belly pierced! there are 5 more piercings i wanna get by the end of the year!)